> Out of the mouths of babes...
>
> Good clean humor-for those with kids-or have had kids
> ---or teach kids...
>
> A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,
> Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who
> would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the
> opportunity for a moral lesson.
> If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
> "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait."
> Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
> "Ryan, you be Jesus.
>
> A father was at the beach with his children
> when his four-year-old son ran up to him,
> grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore,
> where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
> "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
> "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.
> The boy thought a moment and then said,
> "Did God throw him back down?"
>
> After the church service a little boy told the
> pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some
> money."
> "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"
> "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest
> preachers we've ever had."
>
> A wife invited some people to dinner.
> At the table, she turned to their six-year-old
> daughter and said, Would you like to say the blessing?"
> "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
> "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife
> answered.
> The daughter bowed her head and said,
> "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
>
> A mother was teaching her three-year-old The
> Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime,
> the child repeated it after the mother.
> Then one night the child was ready to solo.
> The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated
> words, right up to the end. "And lead us not into temptation,
> but deliver us some e-mail"...
>
> A little boy opened the big and old family Bible
> with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he
> turned them.
> Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible,
> and he picked it up and looked at it closely.
> It was an old leaf from a tree
> that had been pressed in between the pages.
> "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
> "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
> With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered:
> "I think it's Adam's suit!"
>
> Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother
> Joel were sitting together in church.
> Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
> Finally, his big sister had enough.
> "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
> "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
> Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
> "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
>
> A father was reading Bible stories to his young
> son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his
> wife and flee out of the city,
> but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."
> His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
>
> A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a
> litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly
> informed his mother, "there were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl
> kittens."
> 'How did you know?" his mother asked.
> "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied.
> "I think it's printed on the bottom."
>
> Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself.
> His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot.
> She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up
> at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're
> the only feet I got!."
>
> On the first day of school, about midmorning,
> the kindergarten teacher said,
> "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A
> little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that
> help?"
>
> A mother and her young son returned from the
> grocery store and began putting away the groceries.
> The boy opened the box of animal crackers
> and spread them all over the table.
> "What are you doing?" his mother asked.
> "The box says not to eat them if the seal is
> broken" the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal.
>
> Accept it, some days you are the pigeon
> ---and some days the statue.